Archive for October, 2006|Monthly archive page

God’s Interview for a Project Management Job, Part 1

Manager: Uhh, God- Is it OK if I call you that?
God: Sure; you’re the manager. This one is your show.
Manager: OooooKay. God, So what make you want to apply for this Project Management Position? Not happy in your previous assignment?
God: I’ve been at the current job for quite awhile and thought a little vocational sabbatical was in order. Thought I’d get a little taste of Hell to keep me fresh for the Long Haul.
Manager: Sounds reasonable. Let’s talk about your last management project.
God: Creation; yes, some of my best work though we had our problems
Manager: Yes; well, your documentation states that it was a 7 day assignment- 6 days actually- but the user community indicates that it was actually a multi-billion year effort.
God: Truly, it was a classic case of scope creep. The final product was far more complex than first envisioned. Also, there were the usual issues; false starts, development delays.
Manager: And what is the status of the overall project?
God: The Project is in the hands of the Users right now undergoing Beta testing.
Manager: And how is that going?
God: It depends on who you talk to; some good, some bad.
Manager: Any particular Project Team filling more bug reports than the others?
God: Mohammed’s team is particularly cranky at the moment. And, of course, the atheists refused to participate. You know how users can be.
Manager: I gather there were some major problems with Jesus’s group for awhile.
God: Oh yeah; they had one User Group meeting that was murder; they positively crucified Him. Required some of my best abilities to fix that one up. Things are better on that front now.
Manager: What is the single biggest issue you and your Team leaders have these days?
God: Communications, of course. Tends to get garbled on the way down the ranks.
Manager: It says here, you had to restart the project at one point; was a major re-org involved?
God: Yes, the Great Flood. Communication was definitely the issue there. That re-org resolved it for quite a spell.
Manager: Any other setbacks?
God: Well we did try to simplify the User Guide for them to 10 simple steps, but it didn’t take hold very well. But that only cost us about 40 years.